I was getting my hair cut and my hairdresser (who was drunk!!!) decided to have some fun with my hair. XD
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Pic spam
I was getting my hair cut and my hairdresser (who was drunk!!!) decided to have some fun with my hair. XD
Titles are for frogs with hairpieces! XD
....well.
I don't even know where to begin, Internet. I don't want to be one of those random bloggers who uses you for comfort and venting of all their insidious "real world" problems and then just leaves you like an unwanted prom date when things start to look up. But I don't know where else to turn. Oh, Internet. Have you ever turned me away or judged me for the way I feel? I'm afraid I have no where else to turn for comfort. Once again I will have to use you to vent my frustrations. I hope you can forgive me.
Romance is not something that I understand easily. I'm just going to put that out there. I love many people, I have been as close to being "in love" as one can get without being certain. I've just never been a person that needs to be in a relationship. I'm probably too shy. I'm probably too accustomed to my current life. I also have a bit of trouble opening myself up to people, especially if I like that person. Anyway, I'm not a robot. I understand the impulse to be together, to love and to be loved. What I don't get is how a person can lose all sense of self and judgment in order to be with someone who makes them cry. I might be wrong, but this unanswered question is for me is an indication that I have not ever experienced "love" yet. For the simple reason that I can't imagine a force other than fear that would cause these reactions in one of the smartest, most creative, beautiful and strong people I know.
Internet, I am rambling. What I am trying to say is this; My sister is in love. My sister is spiraling away from me and anything in this world that could serve to anchor her. My sister is compromising herself in every way to be with a man whom she freely admits is selfish, whiny, uncaring about her, demanding, passive aggressive, resentful, manipulative, and a drug addict. Who owns a gun. Since being with this man, she has gotten fired because of him, physically harmed herself, taken up smoking and drinking, become resentful of everyone else in her life, and contracted a sexually transmitted disease that could cause cervical cancer. The absolute worst aspect of all of this is that nothing seems to affect her or to sink in. She shows no realization of just how much of a wake up call this disease is. She cries all the time. When she isn't crying she is angry. About anything and everything. I don't know how anyone can live like this. To be honest Internet, it is exhausting to deal with. Every other day I am dropping everything to comfort her through some crisis or staying up until 3:00, when I have to be up at 5:00, just to talk through everything with her. I've tried telling her what I think, gently, I've tried just listening and being there for her. I'm supportive but also cautious. Nothing works. It is just an endless cycle of misery and I honestly don't know what it will take for her to end this. She frequently says "I don't know why I love him," yet she cries hysterically at the thought of breaking up.
She has become so vain! She freaks out it she thinks she looks fat, if she can't find something, she's always late because she spends so much time putting on make up and doing her hair. She gets really hateful if she is stressed about her appearance. It is so strange! I don't know what to do anymore.
Sigh. Internet, what would you do?
I don't even know where to begin, Internet. I don't want to be one of those random bloggers who uses you for comfort and venting of all their insidious "real world" problems and then just leaves you like an unwanted prom date when things start to look up. But I don't know where else to turn. Oh, Internet. Have you ever turned me away or judged me for the way I feel? I'm afraid I have no where else to turn for comfort. Once again I will have to use you to vent my frustrations. I hope you can forgive me.
Romance is not something that I understand easily. I'm just going to put that out there. I love many people, I have been as close to being "in love" as one can get without being certain. I've just never been a person that needs to be in a relationship. I'm probably too shy. I'm probably too accustomed to my current life. I also have a bit of trouble opening myself up to people, especially if I like that person. Anyway, I'm not a robot. I understand the impulse to be together, to love and to be loved. What I don't get is how a person can lose all sense of self and judgment in order to be with someone who makes them cry. I might be wrong, but this unanswered question is for me is an indication that I have not ever experienced "love" yet. For the simple reason that I can't imagine a force other than fear that would cause these reactions in one of the smartest, most creative, beautiful and strong people I know.
Internet, I am rambling. What I am trying to say is this; My sister is in love. My sister is spiraling away from me and anything in this world that could serve to anchor her. My sister is compromising herself in every way to be with a man whom she freely admits is selfish, whiny, uncaring about her, demanding, passive aggressive, resentful, manipulative, and a drug addict. Who owns a gun. Since being with this man, she has gotten fired because of him, physically harmed herself, taken up smoking and drinking, become resentful of everyone else in her life, and contracted a sexually transmitted disease that could cause cervical cancer. The absolute worst aspect of all of this is that nothing seems to affect her or to sink in. She shows no realization of just how much of a wake up call this disease is. She cries all the time. When she isn't crying she is angry. About anything and everything. I don't know how anyone can live like this. To be honest Internet, it is exhausting to deal with. Every other day I am dropping everything to comfort her through some crisis or staying up until 3:00, when I have to be up at 5:00, just to talk through everything with her. I've tried telling her what I think, gently, I've tried just listening and being there for her. I'm supportive but also cautious. Nothing works. It is just an endless cycle of misery and I honestly don't know what it will take for her to end this. She frequently says "I don't know why I love him," yet she cries hysterically at the thought of breaking up.
She has become so vain! She freaks out it she thinks she looks fat, if she can't find something, she's always late because she spends so much time putting on make up and doing her hair. She gets really hateful if she is stressed about her appearance. It is so strange! I don't know what to do anymore.
Sigh. Internet, what would you do?
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