I am so pissed off. I am the quintessential perfect daughter. I take care of my dad, cook, clean and volunteer. I am going back to school while doing all of those things. I am utterly respectful and put my parents before my personal happiness. I went to NYC for almost six months in 2006 with my sister. That was the only thing I've done for myself. I got my first job in Manhattan! I got my first apartment in Brooklyn! I was going to get a promotion and a raise before I decided to come home and take care of my dad. I thought I would go back when things became ok, but Instead I watched all of my savings disappear into the mortgage or the property tax or damned bills. I pretty much came to the theory that I could not leave home, despite that I hate it here and all of my friends have moved away or are in NYC. Now, I discover that my mom received a letter to ME from MY friend offering me free room and board in NYC while she goes to school and my mother does not tell me?! WTF? I am so sick of putting other peoples needs before my own. I may have lost an incredible opportunity that would have hurt no one here. Great.

I am slightly tipsy. I am deeply annoyed that my sister has become a smoker/drinker despite constantly ridiculing my parents for the same thing. I am annoyed that she is dating the second in a series of two gun-toting lunatics with drug problems and delusions of grandeur! I am incredibly pissed that she shows me a burn on her chest from the shell of a bullet from a gun that she fired and the recoil was too much for her delicate frame and acts as though this is normal and funny! I am beginning to think that I am just an angry person. I am unhappy and so I find fault with others happiness. Still, guns? Drugs? Self-obsession? My sister being so uncharacteristically gullible and easily manipulated? No. No thank you. I am, however, powerless to stop this thing from happening. All I can do is be there for her and make sure she has someone to hold onto when she falls.