I am so pissed off. I am the quintessential perfect daughter. I take care of my dad, cook, clean and volunteer. I am going back to school while doing all of those things. I am utterly respectful and put my parents before my personal happiness. I went to NYC for almost six months in 2006 with my sister. That was the only thing I've done for myself. I got my first job in Manhattan! I got my first apartment in Brooklyn! I was going to get a promotion and a raise before I decided to come home and take care of my dad. I thought I would go back when things became ok, but Instead I watched all of my savings disappear into the mortgage or the property tax or damned bills. I pretty much came to the theory that I could not leave home, despite that I hate it here and all of my friends have moved away or are in NYC. Now, I discover that my mom received a letter to ME from MY friend offering me free room and board in NYC while she goes to school and my mother does not tell me?! WTF? I am so sick of putting other peoples needs before my own. I may have lost an incredible opportunity that would have hurt no one here. Great.

I am slightly tipsy. I am deeply annoyed that my sister has become a smoker/drinker despite constantly ridiculing my parents for the same thing. I am annoyed that she is dating the second in a series of two gun-toting lunatics with drug problems and delusions of grandeur! I am incredibly pissed that she shows me a burn on her chest from the shell of a bullet from a gun that she fired and the recoil was too much for her delicate frame and acts as though this is normal and funny! I am beginning to think that I am just an angry person. I am unhappy and so I find fault with others happiness. Still, guns? Drugs? Self-obsession? My sister being so uncharacteristically gullible and easily manipulated? No. No thank you. I am, however, powerless to stop this thing from happening. All I can do is be there for her and make sure she has someone to hold onto when she falls.

WoW! What a lovely day.

Ok. Did that even count as a pun? No? Good. >_<

So yesterday I got a wild hair and cooked dinner, even though it was just me and my dad home. And he hates anything I make usually. Anything that is green or, you know, healthy. I made oven fried chicken (I know that is not particularly healthy, but it was a compromise), kale with garlic, and roasted sweet potato bites. I guess you could call that typically southern fair, but maybe a tiny bit healthier. Usually I'm cooking healthy stuff or easy curries and fish dealies. But sometimes I like to make comfort food. @^_^@


So I know a lot of people who are avid WoWers. Like, a LOT. Individually they have all been trying to get me to join up for a long time now. For some reason I kept poo-pooing it and figured that the trend would blow over like maple story did. It has not. The thing is, I love RPGs! I'm a kick ass mage and always had a high level as fighters. I love love love fantasy, magic and pillaging! So it seems like a natural fit for me to get into WoW. I guess I'm just stubborn though. I kept figuring that it would suck up too much of my time (ah yes ,the moral high ground Erin, well played >:} ), time that I suppose would be better spent reading manga or playing the sims (good god). Finally, when I was interestded in joining up I figured that most of my friends were too advanced and we wouldn't get to play together. :{ So now I'm having extreme WoW envy. Haha. I actually just downloaded the demo the other day. Maybe I'll get into it and level up as fast as I can to join these guys.

Well anyway, I must go now.

My father keeps coming up to me with ideas for making money fast. His latest is to put adds in upper class periodicals advertising vacations with ivy league academics. You want your kid to learn something on vacation? Book a trip to Rome and while you're at it add an ivy league professor to your trip (for a nominal fee of course). The idea is that the family would be going on vacation anyway, and would pay us to find a certified ivy league (or another college prof) professor to tag along and teach the kid about the place they are in and the history. We would scout the prof and cut them the money to go with the family, so the prof would get a free vacation in exchange for site seeing with the kid. Then we would pocket a small fee for finding said prof. Elaborate, eh?

My idea is that he should buckle down and write a brief memoir ala david sedaris. My dad has had a truly bizarre life, why not profit from it a little? He could illustrate it too. In any case, I seem to have wound up in the position of ghost writing his memoir. What do you do when you have no life? Write about someone elses of course! Haha.


Ughh. I signed up for summer classes at the local community college. I would rather just jump straight into the local unversity, but it turns out that I let my gpa suffer a bit when I, uh, ran off to nyc before the end of the semester. >_< It was worth it though. I'd give anything to be back in nyc, but while I am stuck here I am at least going to finish up my degree. Classes start on june 10th. Woo. In addition, I will still be working and volunteering.

I wonder

What do you do when your life begins to break down? Do you;

a). Try to figure out the problems and put together a plan to repair it

b). Curl into a ball and sob helplessly

c). Just ignore it

If we’re going to be honest, and I am (I hope you are too), for me it would be choice c). Which, while we are being honest, will probably eventually lead me to choice b).

The trouble with ignoring your problems is that it almost always makes things much worse, and the more you ignore something the less you want to give in and pay attention to it. For example, if If I were to accidentally severe my thumb and I decided to ignore it (because looking always makes it hurt more) it would naturally become much worse. Eventually, I’d either die from blood loss or some kind of infection. Ignoring your problems can be like ignoring a severed thumb.

I am ignoring my problems and I am suffering some blood loss.